Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can't turn off my feet"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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