Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
