Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
