Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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