You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
