He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We have started to decorate penises.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
