i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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