I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize