I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
