You're my little dorito
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
