Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize