i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
