So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
