More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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