I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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