talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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