Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
