thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
