Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
