Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
