he wants to bone in the snuggie
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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