just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
