If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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