Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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