If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
