operation harelip BJ is a go
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
