If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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