I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
