Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
