All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize