whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
