then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i dont even know how to be here
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
