Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Terrible idea I love it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
