Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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