***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
