I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
