i don't like sucking hair
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
