dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
