So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
