Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize