I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
