GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
