I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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