Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize