Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
