I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
