a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize