Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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