apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
