just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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