dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
