I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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