You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
