The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
