The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
kristin has been a bad kristin
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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