Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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